Saturday, January 19, 2013

Date Multiple Men?

Is it OK to be dating multiple men? And if so, how do I handle it so that I don't hurt anyone and, when I'm ready to become exclusive, I am able to do that? Do you have any dating tips for me?

Women who are looking for Mr. Right should definitely be dating more than one man at a time.

Suppose for a moment that you eliminate all of the intangible woman-fluff that traditionally accompanies dating -- in other words, take away romance and fate so that you’re left with a pragmatic, practical point of view. I call this approach “The Numbers Game.” It is based on the way men think about dating and business. If you get down to business and follow “The Numbers Game,” it will save you hours of time, heartache and (a big red-flag to men!) over-analyzing. It will multiply your success in dating (or in just about anything else you do) – that is if you are willing to at least give it a try. You’ll find that it can change your life. Let it!

First of all, you want to create mystery. You want him to want to know more about you. In fact, you want him to want to know everything about you. If you tell him all there is up front, he’ll be sated, and that’s no good for allure! Second, too much information can be a real mood-killer. Although it may sound great in theory, in the dating arena, the “over-share” will not only prove ineffective, it will probably send the man running in the opposite direction.

He doesn’t need to know everything right away – because he doesn’t want to know everything right away. Men do not have the same need to really “know” one another’s deepest darkest secrets. Ladies, as much as you want the man in your life to want to know all about you (so he can “understand the real you”) — the feeling is not mutual. Sorry, but that is a misconception ... I strongly advise against stressing yourself out in the pursuit of searching his soul. If he doesn’t offer, don’t dig. All he really wants to do is desire you. He wants to feel great, and he wants to know you do, too. He wants to show you a good time on a date that you can both enjoy. Period.

 FORGET about telling a man you like him first.

Let a man express his feelings and interest first. Let him feel the sheer terror of not being sure that you will accept his feelings or even return them. Believe it or not, this is part of the adrenalin rush he craves when he chases women. It may seem cruel, but if so, it’s because you don’t understand his needs. The more uncertainty and terror he feels, the greater the conquest, when you return his feelings. Remember – you’re not his mother. It’s not your job to make him feel safe. You are there to make him keep coming back.