Saturday, February 23, 2013

Are you afraid to fall in love? Or does the thought of being loved by someone scare you? Does the idea of love make you feel suffocated, too deeply entwined, or is the whole concept just plain uninteresting to you? Love scars can lead you to avoid love altogether, for fear of being hurt again. And yet, while love is an uncertain and sometimes chaotic journey, it has the potential to be wondrous too. And if you're not prepared to put in effort, then you're not going to get love back. By relying on hope and giving yourself the permission to try love again, you can find a way to fall in love or to let others love you that won't result in pain or disappointment.

Understand that the feeling of love is permissible. Let yourself be overcome by feelings of affection, care, intensity, and warmth. These feelings won't destroy you––they are good, positive feelings. And if you let your own feelings of love show, it is so much easier for the other person to feel safe about reciprocating their mutual affection. Sometimes it is as much about you making it obvious that love has a place in your life as it is about expecting others to take care of your fragile heart––you're not alone in feeling worried about love!

Get rid of yourself past shadows. When you start feeling great affection for someone but the ghost of love gone wrong in the past starts fluttering by, tell yourself that this is a different situation and a different person. Remind yourself that you're a wiser, more emotionally healthy self too. Emotionally healthy people learn from the lessons in the past, then move forward leaving the past behind. Make good now and trust this new beginning, as it is going to be worth it for both of you.