Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Confidence is one of those qualities that we tend to find very attractive in other people and which makes us attractive to others. In fact a lot of dating advice I have seen suggests that it is one of the most attractive qualities we can develop..and learned from that experience...its about everyday life

However, if it really low self worth that is the problem that will make it worse - for pushing ourselves is not likely to work and that just give us more reasons to be down on ourselves. Being hard on ourselves, because of the opportunities we missed out of low self worth, just leads to even lower self worth till it becomes a self-defeating loop.

It can get to the point where with one part of us constantly feeling low and the other part constantly trying to bully us into dong things we don't feel up to being able to handle. Low self worth is about lack of kindness towards ourselves it is not about lack of will power

What type of relationship would you have with someone who virtually never had a kind word to say to you? What kind of relationship would you have with someone who hardly ever did anything fun with you? Yet, that is the kind of relationship we may have drifted into having with ourselves and it makes our self worth drop really low.
When we do give ourselves treats they are often junky, or false, treats. Many of us learned as kids that the way to deal with being upset is to stuff something sweet in our mouths. You know how it goes. Parent is busy. Child gets upset. Parent gives child a sweet to quiet it down. Sometimes that is exactly what the kid really wants, but not always.

This sets us up to be in the habit of giving ourselves those kind of false treats. A false treat is something that bears no relation to what is needing treat-ment.

We grow up into adults who think that any time we are upset we need to stuff something into our mouths. We probably really need to let something out of our mouths rather than stuffing more in
The issue is to discover what being kind to yourself means to you. And, taking time to patiently find out - making the effort is in itself is an act of kindness to yourself